My new world record

I've done it, I've beaten the world record ! But it will not be stopping there.

In the 1970's Barbra Cartland set a world record for the greatest number of books published in a year by a single author. That recod stood at twenty-three.

Now with the publication of MIT CASE FILES I have overtaken her and since January published TWENTY-FOUR books on Amazon.

This and all other books can be found on my AMAZON BOOKSHELF. All, including MIT CASE FILES are very expensive to download ! Each cost 77p !

Are you going to read the book ?  Can you afford 77p or is thatr t oo expensive for you ? Click the link to check out the synopsis.

It has taken me five months to overtake Barbra Cartland and my writing will not stop there. I am not actually seeking for The Guinness Book of Records to revise its entry, I want to set  a new world record, a record firmly establishing myself as the most prolific writer on Amazon.

The original plan was to write twenty-four books accross the year of 2021 and wrap them into one million words.

I have written and published the twenty-four books and at the end of yesterday my word total stood at 765,626 words.

Only on 31st December will I present to the world record office my submission. By then I expect to have written about one and a half million words and published forty e-books.

Today I will submit for publication book number twenty-five. Every day I write a diary page and am publishing this month by month. Once I have completed today's entry Dave's Diary May 2021 will be added to the bookshelf.

I am hoping that lots of people will want to read MIT Case Files but my diaries are a bit different.

The diary will be part pof a time capsule I am putting

together to be opened on 1st January 2121 inviting readers in one hundred years time to have an insight into life during the pandemic.

MIT Case Files is, of course, a crime fiction work BUT it is NOT an Agatha Christie factory produced whodunit with riddiculous characters and unlikely plots.

This is what I have written for the introduction:

Allow me to introduce you to the Major Incident Team working within a divisional command which is one of the largest police forces in the country. Real crime has a truth excluded within fiction where stories are wrapped into unlikely scenario forming jumbled crossword puzzles to be solved by the most unlikely characters. Whodunit mysteries are fun if you like that kind of thing but nothing at all like the reality of day to day police work.

The same can be said of TV cop series. It is claimed that the BBC TV series Z Cars which ran from January 1962 to September 1978 is the closest to real life. All the rest are nonsense.

As I here bring you a selection of case files from this fictional Major Incident Team I am trying to steer a middle road, pushing aside the unlikely amateur detectives such as Miss Marple and Hercule Poirot but still retaining a small element of whodunit for my readers to play with and to challenge their thinking.

The series of cases our team is presented with do not immediately present an obvious

solution and guilty person but such are not all that far away..

In two weeks time while taking a short holiday in Devon I will be visiting Agatha Christie's home which is now owned ny The National Trust. I am going to set a story THE MURDER TREE in the grounds of the house. The pictcure on the left shows the tree in Agathat's garden.

But before then I am working on and will finish my current project IT'S A MAD BAD WORLD.

In this I contract the iconic decade of The Swinging Sixties with the 2020's which I am tongue in cheek calling The Roaring Twenties.

Chapter by chapter I am looking at different areas of society, within which trying to decide which is the better decade.

The opening chapter is POLITICIANS AND OTHER FORMS OF LOW LIFE. The conclusion there is the 1960's was a better time. I am not just finishing UPPER LOWER MIDDLE CLASS

debating the class system within society. For this chapter the 2020's will be the winner.

Perhaps I should explain: The world record as the most prolific Amazon writer will be in my name - David Ashford. That is who I am. My writing is done under a pen-name of Max Robinson.

Max comes from my childhood pet and Robinson is my mother's maiden name.

Something Barbra Cartland and I have in common beyond our world records is the fact that what we write is rubbish. Rubbish but I hope fun.

I honestly believe that Agatha Christie's whodunit stories are also rubbish but she is the world's biggest selling author. Long after her death her books sell, currently topping two BILLION in sales.

My books have sold 862 copies since 1st January 2021 so that is a world record I will not be seeking to challenge. However, a bit of a boost to my ego as I attempt to be the most prolific Amazon writer would be welcome. Can you afford 77p for MIT Case Files ? Go on take a chance. Check out my full Amazon Bookshelf - be a devil.

EVACUEES FROM LONDON:

Earlier I blogged about people writing their autobiographies to srae with generations in the future. Following is something my Mum wrote, something I included in my book INTERVIEWS IN TIME:

It was during the autumn of 1938 when the first thoughts of evacuation came into the mind of my family. War seemed to be rearing its ugly head. So off went Mum to the Powers That be to find out all about the evacuation plans and if my sister Margaret and I could go to our Auntie at Southend under the scheme. But because Margaret had caught Chicken Pox at the time, and it seemed highly likely that I would catch it, which I did, the authorities did not feel they could help us.

Fortunately war was not to come yet.

On Friday 1^st September 1939 my sister and I were made ready for school. I was to wear my school uniform that day and my sister, Margaret, was coming with me to my school instead of the one she usually attended. We wore our best coats, which had labels with our names on, pinned to our coat lapels. So with gas masks and suitcases we went to assemble in the school hall.

From school we all walked two by two together with our teachers to the nearest railway station which was Vauxhall. I can not remember any tearful partings but we did not fully realise what was happening to us. Only that it was to be an adventure.

We all had raisins and a bar of chocolate to eat on the journey. A journey that did not take us very far, to reading. This was a disappointment to us as it was hardly the quiet countryside we had hoped for.

At Reading the billeting office took children to their allotted homes. Margaret and I were taken to a house where we were to live but no one was at home. So we were taken from door to door in the hope that someone would take us in. Eventually a place was found for us with a family that had two boys and a girl of their own. I could not have been easy for them to have two more children.

On Sunday 3^rd September 1939 while out for a walk we met one of our school teachers. She said that we should return to the house immediately as war had been declared. Being of the generation who always did what the teacher said, we went back straight away.

We arrived in time to hear the announcement on the radio by Mr Chamberlain, the Prime Minister, that war had been declared.

We only stayed in Reading for a few weeks as our parents thought that we may as well be in London as reading. So it was back to London and of course we were pleased to be home again. We missed our friends but they too gradually drifted back home to London.

School life started again although not very regularly once the bombing started. I had locked up my books in the desk at the beginning of the school summer holidays and never saw those books again because the evacuations had started before then next term could commence.

Sometime later it was decided that Mum, Margaret and I should be evacuated again. This time mothers were being allowed to go with their children. Once again we gathered at the school hall and off to another unknown destination. This time we had a very long journey which took all day and it was dark when we arrived in Cornwall.

Some of us were taken to a big house where a lady in a nurses uniform came to meet us at the door. I remember thinking how lovely, we were going to live in a big house with a nanny to look after us.

The nanny turned out to be the matron of the workhouse we had just arrived at and were to stay until proper homes were found for us.

We were made very welcome and the food was good.

Mothers, boys and girls all slept in one long dormitory with just one toilet. It could not have been very nice for the Mothers with no privacy whatsoever but we all seemed happy enough and able to relax away from the bombing.

But in London Dad was getting fed up with being on his own so wrote to say that the bombing raids were not too bad. So after a few weeks of getting no nearer to having a place of our own to live, we returned to London.

We settled into a routine of school and air raids.  During the daytime the air raid siren always seemed to sound just as we were sitting down to a meal, Most night we spent under the stairway. Auntie and Granny, who lived next door, would come into us if the raids were very heavy.

Granddad did not bother to come as he was deaf and slept through most of the noise although he did feel the vibrations when bombs dropped nearby.  We also had too neighbours who liked to come into our house when things got too bad because they were frightened to be on their own. It was very cosy in the big cupboard under the stairs where we drank cocoa, ate crackers and sometimes sang hymns.

Dad was always on night duty at the railway so we were worried when he went off to work and wondered what the night would bring.

One morning he came home with his hands bandaged up but as he was always one for a joke we did not believe him when he said he had burnt them. But indeed he had got his hands burned while fighting fires at Nine Elms Railway Depot.

Eventually the inevitable happened and in April 1941 our house was blasted in the bombing, too badly for any more repairs at this time. A land mine had dropped a short way away killing some of the neighbours and leaving an enormous crater. We were lucky to be just covered in soot, dust and grime but alive.

Now we had no home and so lived with relatives for a short while. So while Mum and Dad found a new home for us, Margaret and I were top be evacuated again. My Auntie’s friend had kindly offered to have us. The friend was a widow with three sons and they lived in the Midlands. The Midlands, where was that ?

We were Londoners who only travelled south for holidays, never to the North or the Midlands.

It was a real blessing for us to get out of London once more as by now our nerves were in a very bad state.

This journey was to shape my future although I could not have known it at the time.

The Midlanders were all very kind to us and we soon settled down and felt at home.  It was lovely to be able to walk in the countryside of Sutton Park and not to worry that the sirens would go off and the bombs fall. Even though we were so near Birmingham, which also was having bombing raids, it seemed to us another world free from all the stresses we had come from.

Also we were living in a house with a bathroom, a luxury we had never known before.

So life went on very happily. Margaret returned home before I did. I went back to London when the war ended but returned to the Midlands in September 1948 when I got married to one of the sons, Ken.

So the lady who was my Foster Mother for four years became my Mother ion Law.

I now regard myself as a Midlander but of course can not forget that my roots were on London all those years ago.

I am very thankful that Ken and I never had to make the dreadful decision to part with our two sons because of war and the need to evacuate them to a safe place.

Pray it will never happen again.

Can I invite you to write your life story

AUTO BIOGRAPHY – AUTO BIO GRAPHY – SELF LIFE WRITING

When it comes to writing I think that everybody should write their life story. To write it for future generations in their families: for their children, grandchildren, great-grandchilden, for those who will be alive in 2121 – 2221 and even further into the future. Everyone should write their autobiography.

Nobody know the subject matter better than the writer and the writer knows no subject matter better than the person who has lived it. The rich, the famous and the self-important write their autobiographies but it is the ORDINARY person who has the REAL story to tell.

Within my Amazon Bookshelf I have a few autobiographical bits and pieces.

On 1^st March 2017 I published by schoolboy autobiography THINGS WERE DIFFERENT IN

MY DAY – DIFFERENT DOES NOTMEAN BETTER. As a former school teacher I would be embarrassed if any of my Leonite student read what an educational waste of space I was.

Then on 11^th April 2017 I published my teenage autobiography THE STORY OF A TEENAGE ENTREPENEUR (FAILED)  The failed bit does not explain that I was rubbish as a retail management trainee but how a change of career took me into a completely different direction.

Oh how I wish I was a teenager again !  I would even put up with

having to go to school in order to be young again.

Then on 22^nd February 2020 I added THE RAMBLINGS OF A SILLY OLD MAN to my Amazon Bookshelf.

I hate being old. Although born in 1950 I really grew up in the Swinging Sixties. What a decade that was and how it has gone down in history !  I put my memories together in SWINGING THROUGH THE SIXTIES which was published on 25^th September 2020. If you also grew up in that magical decade have a read and see what you  remember from the bits and pieces I talk about. If you were not born then read and see just how much you  missed out on !

SWINGING THROUGH THE SIXTIES was originally intended to be a one off but when my

Mum and Dad read it and enjoyed what I had to say I reached deeper into my memories for YOU NEVER GROW OLD WITH ROCK AND ROLL my s tory of the 1950’s published on 10^th October 2020.

Musically the 1960’s and the 1950’s were great but it was the 1970’s which was the most special time. I tell of this inLIFE IS A DISCO SO DANCE which was published on 31^st October 2020.

I believe that if it had not been for Margaret Thatcher in the 1980’s Britain today would be a third world nation.  I recall my memories in THERETRO EIGHTIES which hit my Amazon Bookshelf on 31^st

December 2020.

The Naughty Nineties, the Tony Blair years !  NO, I am not going to recall the rubbish our country went through !

I am enjoying reading the draft text for MIT CASE FILES and making a few revisions. The early chapters I was not quite so keen on but right now with EVIL’S REVENGE I am having a lot of fun.

I am going to stop setting target dates for adding this to my Amazon Bookshelf, it will be done when it is done but I am really excited about my next writing project IT’S A MAD BAD WORLD. This will be autobiographical as I compare the 1960’s with the present day 2020’s. The sixties were MAD, the 20’s are BAD.

So why don’t you have a go at your autobiography !  Go on, write something for your generations to come.

IF YOU DO WRITE PLEASE TELL ME - I WOULD LOVE TO READ YOUR STORY

e-mail me: dashford566@gmail.com

 

Whodunit ?

Whodunit ? It was the Avon Lady in the downstairs toilet with the left-handed screwdriver !

A few years ago I put out a survey on social media asking people what their favourite reading was. The response was overwhelmingly in favour of crime fiction. I had never tried to write in that genre before but came up with what I think was a unique style with THE CASE FILES OF DAVE McDERMOTT. I gave my detective three cases to solve and told the story both from his point of view and from that of the perpetrator. Friendship is the wrong word but I brought the two together as a bond formed between them when the case was solved.

THE CASE FILES OF DAVE McDERMOTT was published on 8^th March 2017. I enjoyed writing the book but crime fiction was not really my thing so I did not publish anything more until 31^st March 2020 when I gave Dave a new case to investigate THE LOTTERY OF EVIL.

I am not a fan of crime fiction myself and find the plots and characters of the world’s best selling author, Agatha Christie, totally ridiculous. I seldom watch any crime drama on TV where the plots are usually as ridiculous as those of Agatha !  I do enjoy Foyles War but not that many episodes were made so I have seen them all many times over. I like David Jason in Frost, have the box set but Maureen is not a fan so the multiple DVD’s seldom come out of their box.

Whodunit ? It was the window cleaner in the boiler cupboard with the coat hanger !

Within the year of 2021 I have set myself a challenge to write a minimum of one million words and wrap them into a minimum of twenty-four works on Amazon. This will beat Barbra Cartland’s world record from the 1970’s where she published twenty-three books in a single year. Barbra Cart land, of course, did not write crime fiction and her books are only marginally less rubbish than mine !

As part of my writing challenge I wrote a book where the killer was telling the story with the detectives orbiting the story in an attempt to solve the crimes. The story has a twist within it which different readers may use in different ways as they read: BY THE PRICKING OF MYTHUMBS – THE DIARY OF A SERIAL KILLER,  That book was published by Amazon on 3^rd February 2021.

Whodunit ?  It was next door’s cat in the greenhouse with the knitting needle !

So what is your favourite genre of story ?  From the point of

view of a writer mine is what I call discussion and debate. On 11^th February 2021 I published BEHIND THE NOOSE OR NOT where I discuss the rights and wrongs, using specific real cases to support the argument, of capital punishment.

Last summer I visited Agatha Christie’s home in Devon. I may dislike her writing but I loved her home. Beautiful grounds and while the house, Greenacres, is a mansion it is so liveable and warmly homely I would love it to be my own home. I know if it were my home I could write far  more than I do.

I am returning to Greenacres next month where I plan to take inspiration for a story I will call THE MURDER TREE. During World War Two American troops were billeted on Agatha Christie’s home. I am going to, in my story, have a team of American secret agents living there. With America not being in the war at the time this secret was top secret. When one American secret agent is murdered the

authorities directly acting on Winston Churchill’s instructions cover it up. When The National Trust, now the owners of Greenacres, discover the body a modern-day investigation begins. The story will be set in 2018 so I may write in Donald Trump !

Whodunit ? It was President Trump on the golf course with Twitter !

I am about to publish another crime fiction work MIT CASE FILES. I am working through the initial draft taking out the typo’s and revising the text a bit. I am then going to run a spell check before going completely through the text for a second time. Today, Sunday 23^rd May 2021 was my planned publication day but I have pushed things back to next Wednesday. Realistically I think that date will be too ambitious. Providing it is on my AMAZON BOOKSHELF by the end of the month that will be OK.

Within the introduction to the case files I have written this:

Allow me to introduce you to the Major Incident Team working within a divisional command

which is one of the largest police forces in the country. Real crime has a truth excluded within fiction where stories are wrapped into unlikely scenario forming jumbled crossword puzzles to be solved by the most unlikely characters. Whodunit mysteries are fun if you like that kind of thing but nothing at all like the reality of day to day police work.

The same can be said of TV cop series. It is claimed that the BBC TV series Z Cars which ran from January 1962 to September 1978 is the closest to real life. All the rest are nonsense.

As I here bring you a selection of case files from this fictional Major Incident Team I am trying to steer a middle road, pushing aside the unlikely amateur detectives such as Miss Marple and Hercule Poirot but still retaining a small element of whodunit for my readers to play with and to challenge their thinking.

The series of cases our team is presented with do not immediately present an obvious solution and guilty person but such are not all that far away..

A VERY BRITISH ASSASSINATION

THE FOOD BANK POISONER

RALPH’S TENT

THE LONE RANGER

OPERATION LETTUCE LEAF

ANGELS OF THE ANTI-CHRIST

I THINK MY NAME IS RICHARD

EVIL’S REVENGE

DOCTOR STRANGELOVE

SINS OF THE FATHERS

LOST AND FOUND

AN INVESTIGATION TOO FAR

A NIGHT ON THE STREETS

This book will be number twenty-four in my writing project so I will, when it is published, have beaten Barbra Cartland. I think my running total of words will be three quarters of a million.

Whodunit ?  It was the gardener at the back of the compost heap with the typewriter !

The end of May leaves me still with seven months to go in my 2021 writing challenge. Will I write another piece of crime fiction ?  I don’t know, I honestly don’t know but I may have a try at comedy where Dixon of Dock Green investigates the murder of Hurcle Poirot by Old Biddie Miss Jane Marple !

Whodunit ?  It was Boris Johnson in the newly decorated Downing Street Flat with a bottle of blond hair dye !

We're DOOMED !

Saturday 22^nd May, will today there be more rain, wind and low temperatures than we endured yesterday on Friday 21^st May ?  This weather pattern is utterly bonkers ! Isn’t may supposed to be a moth of sunshine, warmth and the dawn of summer.

What is going on ?

Climate change, global warming, Armageddon, the end of the world that is what is happening. 

WE ARE DOOMED !

Experts say it  is too late to reverse climate change. The government is coming up with big

ideas about electric cars and banning gas boilers but surely there are more basic things we can all do, basic things you and I can do right now in May 2021.

You know how food outlets have a food hygiene rating, could we put pressure on the government to introduce a carbon footprint rating for every single public building ?  I have in the past named and shamed some buildings within Milton Keynes which I have described as climate cowboys. We need to raise the shaming to a higher and more public level. Could we count on the media to help such a

campaign ?  Don’t be silly !  The media is not going to campaign against its advertisers is it - no way ?

Plant a tree in ’73. Plant some more in ’74. I am old enough to remember that government campaign from the 1970’s but it was not about climate change, nobody back then knew anything about global warming. It was about England’s green and pleasant land. All very nice but almost fifty years later England has the lowest tree population by area in all of Europe. We are starting to hear about plans for everyone to plant a tree for the Queen’s Platinum Jubilee. Great but way too little and far too late. We need NOW to immediately plant ten trees for every single person in the country. Even that number would leave ample space to plant more.

When Milton Keynes was being built in the 1970’s it had a fundamental planning regulation that no building shall be taller than the surrounding trees. Milton Keynes Cowboy Council along with the likes of The Centre MK and The Xscape which shine lights into the night sky have not only broken the planning edict but also seek every day to destroy our world with t heir hideous excesses. How would they rate within a climate footprint rating.

Trees are the lungs of the world, climate cowboys who score low ratings within our climate footprint system should be fined very heavily indeed with the money being used to fund vast programmes of tree planting.

Supermarkets and all retail outlets will have their own individual climate cowboy ratings. It is all very well charging for plastic bags at the checkouts BUT far, far more can be done. Saturday mornings in Morrissons is autism hour designed to make a more comfortable shopping environment for autistic people. In actual fact the reduced lighting and overall calmer environment is a better experience for everyone. How far does turning off excess lighting reduce the carbon footprint for a supermarket ? A little but it every supermarket did this for every hour of opening it would be a lot.

Plastic bags ?  Great but what is the point of charging for plastic shopping bags when  products on the shelves are contained in vastly excessing and no-recyclable packaging. To open many of the packaging takes a chainsaw ! We need a law which quite simply says: IF THE PACKAGING CAN NOT BE RECYCLED THE PRODUCT CAN NOT BE SOLD.

Different local authorities have different recycling systems. Product labelling is con fusing. I picked up a package for aa product sold by Morrissons under its own brand. It says in symbols this product can be recycled. It also clearly says this product can not be recycled !

Surely we need a system which quite clearly  says if the packaging can not be recycled then the product can not be sold !

Before you start to point a finger at Amazon and its packaging please note everything can be recycled. Shopping with Amazon is infinitely more climate friendly than visiting The Centre MK. Boycott the climate cowboys, shop locally and if you can not buy locally what you want then use Amazon.

Meat and the sale there of !  Factory farming of animals to be eaten by human beings is a major contribution to global warming. As a vegetarian I would also say that it is immoral to eat an animal but that is not a climate change issue. If the entire world stopped eating meat then it would be a significant way to stop destroying the planet. McDonald’s is very fond of shouting its mouth off about recycling its cooking fat into biodiesel BUT how many factory farmed animals does it murder every day ? Recyclable or not it is one of the worst offenders when it comes to excess packaging and that packaging contributing to litter in our streets.

A 50% tax on all meat products would greatly help the ever worsening situation. A £1 tax on every item of packaging used by McDonald’s and all the rest would be a good idea.

China Virus, we may or may not win the war. There is cause for optimism. However, when it comes to the far bigger war, a war of global extinction we are NOT going to win because nobody is fighting any battle.

Climate extinction, global warming, end of the world - Armageddon – BRING IT ON WE ARE DOOMED !

It's a MAD BAD World

 

Can I ask you, which football team do you support ?

For example let’s say you support Arsenal. How about a situation where you are not allowed by  law to support Arsenal without first purchasing a season ticket for Chelsea F C ?

So which supermarket do you shop in ?

Let’s say Morrissons but you can not buy a single item unless you pay a yearly subscription to Tesco !

Cars !

You are not allowed to own and drive any vehicle without first paying to lease a BMW Mini.

Fail to observe any of the above any you  are breaking the law for which you will be fined £1,000. Ridiculous but this is EXACTLY how it is watching television. It is against the law, punishable with a fine of £1,000, to watch Sky, ITV, Channel Five and any of the many retro

stations without paying a yearly licence fee of £157.50 to fund the BBC – British Broadcasting Corporation – Bullshit Broadcasting Conmen !

What a mad world we live in !

Britain where democracy counts for nothing !  At least it counts for nothing in Milton Keynes. Milton Keynes where recent local elections put the Conservatives in the lead with the majority of council seats. In second place came Labour and in LAST place was the Liberal Democratic Party ! LAST PLACE. One – Two – Three LAST PLACE and yet this party has decided the future of the council’s management in direct opposition to the voting will of the public.

Could the Liberal Democratic Party be prosecuted under The Trade Description Act ?  How can a political party use the word democratic in its name when it does not believe in democracy ?

I am pleased that I coined the phrase POLITICS THE VOMIT OF SOCIETY. The Conservative Party does not properly comprehend the fact that there are real people at the end of its policies. The Labour Party FULLY comprehends the existence of REAL people but thinks they are only there for it to play politics with. The Liberal Democratic Party does not believe in democracy PURE AND SIMPLE.

It is against the law to support Arsenal FC without buying a season ticket for Chelsea FC !  If you want to shop at Morrissons you must pay a subscription to Tesco. You can not drive any car without leasing a BMW Mini. You can not watch any TV broadcaster without paying the BBC a licence fee of £157.50 a year.

AND……..

You can not under Milton Keynes Democracy vote for any political party without allowing the Liberal Democratic Party to have the fewest number of seats on the council yet to control that council.

It’s a MAD, MAD WORLD – It’s a BAD, BAD WORLD. It’s a MAD, BAD WORLD !