The windmill that never turned

My book NOT THE CONCRETE COWS published in 1994 contains some of the weekly features I wrote for The Milton Keynes Citizen. Within these were a number of follies. Here is one, it  is actually the very first feature I published in the Citizen. Have a read and see if you remember the windmill that never turned.

Focus on the follies starting with the windmill but never turns:

We are all, no doubt, familiar with the follies of English architecture, those enigmatic towers and castellated edifices erected in the grounds of many a stately home the former Duke of Buckingham's estate at Stowe is positively littered with them.

The Oxford English Dictionary describes a folly as a costly structure which is totally useless. Perhaps that is a little unkind for many a folly was built in harmless fun and thousands every week derive innocent amusement by visiting those now preserved by the National Trust.

But what of the follies in Milton Keynes, nothing pre twentieth century in this purpose built city of the modern age?

No, I do not mean the concrete cows !

What I had more in mind with some of the landmarks we have come to love and hate, often in the same breath, for their eccentricities and impracticability of design and purpose.

Some are amusing, others are downright frustrating. Some, in their time, aroused much public controversy while others climbed onto the back of our landscape almost unnoticed.

I have chosen the follies that come instantly to my mind but let me make it clear it is not my intention to be cruel or unkind, simply to bring each to attention in what I regard to be the true spirit of a folly.

My first choice of folly is the windmill that never turned. Well it's not a windmill exactly but a wind powered generator. Located at the junction of Watling Street and Faraday Drive this folly is a feature of Energy Park, an estate of purpose designed and built energy efficient homes.

But the trouble is this folly is one of the most inefficient articles in the entire city.

To return to the dictionary definition, goodness only knows what it cost to put up and certainly it is quite useless.

In Denmark I have seen entire hillsides covered with these generators, like farms of cultivated giant objects from a science fiction nightmare, all gently turning in the breeze.

But their junior emulator in Milton Keynes has failed to learn one important lesson from its mentors. In order to generate electricity the blades of the windmill have to turn around ! Those at Energy Park remain steadfastly static and have done so for many years.

Perhaps the mechanism is rusted up, surely the inactivity cannot be blamed upon a lack of wind. No, for unless my memory is seriously failing me, I remember the blades once revolving. Presumably the dwellings it was designed to serve now received their electricity from less environmentally sound sources courtesy of National Power and Powergen.

It is rumoured the windmill was constructed ahead of its planning permission. Perhaps that is true, nobody seems to know for certain, it's one of those legends that tend to grow up about follies. At least no official in a pinstripe suit a so far demanded it be torn down.

But then why should it be ? It is not doing anybody any harm is it ?  It serves as a useful landmark on Watling Street and a true folly of Milton Keynes.  Long made it remain.

A 2021 UPDATE:

The estate behind this windmill was an estate way ahead of its time. It supposedly was built containing energy efficient houses. Perhaps we need to bring back our windmill. Bring it back and make it an icon reminding us all how important it is to be energy efficient. Perhaps the windmill may never physically turn but a metaphorical rotation could be a practical reminder.

PS: I wrote under the pen-name of Jonathan Flie back then - as in Fly-on-the-wall. When I stoppoed writing newspaper articles I changed to Max Robinson