Ramblings Of A Silly Old Man - CHAPTER NINE

WISE WORDS FROM A SILLY OLD MAN

A loaf of bread, a book of verse and thou beside me singing in the wilderness. I was twelve years of age when  a teacher at school who thought he was wise shared that quote to our class, a quote from Omar Khayyam. Actually he got it wrong the full, proper quotes is: A Book of Verses underneath the Bough, A Jug of Wine, a Loaf of Bread — and Thou Beside me singing in the Wilderness — Oh, Wilderness were Paradise enow !

For me my life maxim has been Life is a disco so dance. 

Omar Khayyam born 18th May 1048 then popped his clogs on 4th December 1131. It would have been in 1963 when that little bit of wisdom was misquoted to our school class. Will people be quoting this silly old man talking about a disco and dancing in a thousand years time ?

If I am silly enough to have BBC Radio Four on and Thought For The Day comes out of the loudspeaker I immediately turn it of. I do not need some pontificating vicar spouting a sermon at me. A few years ago I had an idea to ask the BBC if I could do a week of Thought For The Day sharing my life maxims. I would start with LIFE IS A DISCO SO DANCE then talk about:

• LIFE IS A BALLET SO POINT YOUR TOES
• LIFE IS A TYPO, IF YOU DO NOT MAKE ANY THEN YOU ARE NOT LIVING IT TO THE FULL
• LIFE IS A JAGUAR SO DO NOT DRIVE IT LIKE A KNACKERED OLD FORD FOCUS
• LIFE IS LIKE A VINYL RECORD, IF IT DOES NOT CRACKLE YOU HAVE NOT DONE ANYTHING WITH IT
• THE BEST FOUNDATION FOR SUCCESS IS FAILURE
• LIFE IS A GAME OF FOOTBALL, THERE IS MORE TO IT THAN TWO GOAL POSTS AND A BIT OF GRASS BETWEEN THEM
• LIFE IS A LOT MORE FUN IF YOU ARE LITTLE BIT SILLY

I am proud to be silly, to be The Silly Old Man. I once shared my thinking that LIFE IS A LOT MORE FUN IF YOU ARE A LITTLE BIT SILLY with my two granddaughters. When the youngest was being silly at the meal table I told her to stop being silly. She replied: Ah Granddad you said ........................

I wonder what excess of pay The BBC pays its pontificating vicars to speak down to its listeners, knowing how the BBC squanders the licence fee I bet it's significant. No, I never did submit my life maxims to The bbc (note the small case letters) common sense and truth is far too sophisticated for its producers. Still I think the listeners would have liked what I had to say.

Elvis Presley, The King of Rock and Roll, was a bit of a philosopher. One of his words of wisdom is:

THE SUN IS LIKE THE TRUTH, YOU CAN DRAW THE CURTAINS BIT IT IS STILL THERE.  Nice one Elvis. How about the Silly Old Man's take on that ?  THE CLOUDS MAY FILL THE SKY BUT ABOVE THEM THE SUN IS STILL SHINING.

Something more from The King:

AMBITION IS ONLY A DREAM FITTED WITH A V8 ENGINE.  I agree but Elvis can I add: REALITY IS ONLY AMBITION WITH A TURBO CHARGER.

Elvis did you drive a car with a V8 engine and a turbo charger ?  I do.

When the Berlin Wall came down and eastern Europe opened to the world I heard this:

COME WITH BREAD, SALT AND AN OPEN HEART.

When you spend time with someone take something to eat, something to flavour life and be open with love.

When Spike Milligan left us on 27th March 2002 he left instructions for these words to be put on his grave. I TOLD YOU I WAS ILL DIDN'T I ?  He was 84 years old but so full of life.

Spike also gave us this lovely poem.

Smiling is infectious,
you catch it like the flu,
When someone smiled at me today,
I started smiling too.

I passed around the corner
and someone saw my grin.
When he smiled I realised
I'd passed it on to him.

I thought about that smile,
then I realised its worth.
A single smile, just like mine
could travel round the earth.

So, if you feel a smile begin,
don't leave it undetected.
Let's start an epidemic quick,
and get the world infected!

Allow me, Spike, to end this chapter with an addition to your wonderful writing.

Start an infection like this and there is not a medic anywhere in the world who could stop the epidemic. There is not a medic anywhere in the world who would want to stop the spread of he epidemic. SMILE AT THE WORLD AND THE WORLD WILL SMILE BACK.