The Ramblings Of A Silly Old Man - CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

SMILE AT THE WORLD AND THE WORLD WILL SMILE BACK AT YOU

Ken Dodd, singer and genius comedian was born on 8th November 1927 and died on 11th March 2018. He actually pushed The Beatles off number one in the charts. Ken Dodd was a genius at making people smile.

Happiness, happiness, the greatest gift that I possess

I thank the Lord I've been blessed

With more than my share of happiness

To me this world is a wonderful place

And I'm the luckiest human in the whole human race

I've got no silver and I've got no gold

But I've got happiness in my soul

Happiness to me is an ocean tide

Or a sunset fading on a mountain side

A big old heaven full of stars up above

When I'm in the arms of the one I love

Happiness, happiness, the greatest gift that I possess

I thank the Lord that I've been blessed

With more than my share of happiness

Happiness is a field of grain

Turning its face to the falling rain

I can see it in the sunshine, I breathe it in the air

Happiness happiness everywhere

A wise old man told me one time

Happiness is a frame of mind

When you go to measuring my success

Don't count my money count my happiness

Comedian Spike Milligan wanted these words carved on his grave:

I told you I was ill !

When he died on 27th February 2002 his wish was indeed honoured.

Have the ramblings in this book made you smile ?  We are almost at the end now. Smile at the arrogant opinion of this particular silty old man made you smile. 

Let me put a few scenarios to you and see what your reaction is.

1. You meet a man begging in the street. He is holding a notice which reads - I would like some money to buy drugs as I can not live without them but it isn't really money I want , I need change.

What would you do ?  What would you say ?  What would you think ?

2. I think there should be a law that every charity shop be required to put in its window the percentage of money spent there finding its way to benefit those the charity claims to be supporting, the end users. Do you know it can be as little as nineteen pence in the pound ? What is your attitude to that ?

3.In 2019 1.6 million people used The Food Bank in Britain. During the same year the average salary of a Barclays Premier League player was seven million pounds. What is your attitude to that ?

4. In 2019 by mid July we had used up more resources across the planet than would be produced in the whole year. August - September - October - November - December - we were in overdraft !  What do you say to that ?

5. Slavery was generally abolished in the nineteenth century. I explained that in an earlier chapter when I talked of an ancestor of mine being a slave owner. Please do not think there are not slaves alive today.  There are !  Have you ever met a modern-day slave, spoken to him and heard his story ?  I have.

6. Have you ever murdered an animal ?  Let's make it easy for you and say a bird.  Here's a chicken, go and wring its neck. Could you do that ?  Have you eaten at KFC ?  Here's a knife, go and ut the throat of that baby lamb  playing in the field. Wen you have done that go and eat it for your Sunday lunch. Could you do that ?

Think yourself into those six situations. close your eyes and make them real inside your head then try to sing Ken Dodd's happiness.

Happiness, happiness, the greatest gift that I possess

I thank the Lord I've been blessed

With more than my share of happiness

To me this world is a wonderful place

And I'm the luckiest human in the whole human race

I've got no silver and I've got no gold

But I've got happiness in my soul

Happiness to me is an ocean tide

Or a sunset fading on a mountain side

A big old heaven full of stars up above

When I'm in the arms of the one I love

Happiness, happiness, the greatest gift that I possess

I thank the Lord that I've been blessed

With more than my share of happiness

Happiness is a field of grain

Turning its face to the falling rain

I can see it in the sunshine, I breathe it in the air

Happiness happiness everywhere

A wise old man told me one time

Happiness is a frame of mind

When you go to measuring my success

Don't count my money count my happiness

Did it make you smile the second time round ?

What did you think about Spike Milligan's epitaph ?  I bet that made you smile.

Here' a poem he wrote.

Smiling is infectious,
you catch it like the flu,
When someone smiled at me today,
I started smiling too.

I passed around the corner
and someone saw my grin.
When he smiled I realised
I'd passed it on to him.

I thought about that smile,
then I realised its worth.
A single smile, just like mine
could travel round the earth.

So, if you feel a smile begin,
don't leave it undetected.
Let's start an epidemic quick,
and get the world infected!

Apply that to the above scenario and I hope you will find it incongruous.

I am The Geriatric DJ so let me quote another song, Beautful Barbados. Do you know it ?  It is indeed a beautiful land, a land of blue seas, golden beaches and palm trees. But none of these make Barbados the beautiful land it is. Go to visit Barbados and every day someone will say to you: Welcome to our beautiful island. It is the people who make Barbados beautiful. Why can't every country, every town, every cit, every village n the world say the same ?  Why don't you shout that at the top of your voice about the place where you live ?

It is a beautiful world in which we live although we, the human race, seek to make it an unfair and cruel world.

In 1963 this got to number 18 in the UK charts when sung by Harry Secombe.

If I ruled the world

Every day would be

The first day of Spring

Every heart would have

A new song to sing

And we'd sing of the joy

Every morning would bring


If I ruled the world

Every man would be

As free as a bird

Every voice would be

A voice to be heard
Take my word

We would treasure each day
That occurred


My world would be

A beautiful place

Where we would weave

Such a wonderful dream

My world would wear

A smile on its face

Like the man in the moon
When the moon beams


If I ruled the world

Every man would say

The world was his friend

There'd be happiness

That no man could end

No my friend

Not if I ruled the world
Every head

Would be held up high
There'd be sunshine

If day ever dawned
In everyone's sky

When I ruled the world

If I ruled the world




If you ruled the world what would be your manifesto ?  If I ruled the world the six examples I began this ramble with would all be redundant.




Can you imagine any politician taking that as his campaign message ?  It wouldn't help him climb the greasy pole to power would it ?




As beautiful as these words are, as ideal as are their sentiment the ambition is never going to be realised is it ?  I have opened this chapter with six thoughts, I could have added more. Unless something changes when I come to rewrite this book, to update it in thirty or forty years time will I be able to list sixty ? More ?



Let me take you back to Spike Milligan;s poem:





Smiling is infectious,
you catch it like the flu,
When someone smiled at me today,
I started smiling too.

I passed around the corner
and someone saw my grin.
When he smiled I realised
I'd passed it on to him.

I thought about that smile,
then I realised its worth.
A single smile, just like mine
could travel round the earth.

So, if you feel a smile begin,
don't leave it undetected.
Let's start an epidemic quick,
and get the world infected!

If YOU, yes YOU did that there is not a medic in the world, anywhere in the world who could stop the epidemic. There is not a medic anywhere in the world who would want to stop it. YOU could make it impossible for me to think of anything with which to write as examples as I have above with the six currently in the chapter.

The first of those examples is of a homeless rough-sleeping man desperate for change. He is fictional but there are thousands in is situation. This is not fictional. the day before I wrote this chapter I met a man who had no home other than the hard floor of the street.  I asked him how he was. His face sparkled and he said: I have nothing but I still have my smile, what more do I need.

SMILE AT THE WORLD AND THE WORLD WILL SMILE BACK AT YOU.

Now go out and start that epidemic !

DO IT.