MK Today - Monday 3rd April 2023

Did you know it was way back in the seventeen hundreds that April Fool’s Day started in Britain ?

April Fool’s Day 2023 – that was three days ago so I am being a little tardy. Oh dear what a shame never mind !

1957, I was only six years old but I remember what has to be the best April Fool joke ever. The BBC broadcast a programme explaining a spaghetti shortage as the Spring was messing up the harvest.

1^st April 2023 was the last day in a nationwide litter pick. I signed up saying on my daily doggie walks I would collect five bags. In actual fact I picked up TWENTY-FIVE bags !

Walking round with my Amazon litter stick, excellent value by the way, I tried not to look at people as the last thing I wanted to project myself as was a do-gooder. A few people did over the days engage with me and every single one said something about my doing the job the council should be doing.

NO !  Everyone knows I am not a fan of Milton Keynes Cowboy Council but this is NOT where the litter is coming from ! Milton Keynes Council has a fantastic team of bin men and a sound recycling programme. Parish councils provide and maintain litter bins all the way across our city. The FOOLS, the IDIOTS, the MORONS, the XXXX HEADS who throw the litter on the ground are responsible.

The very first piece of writing I did about Milton Keynes was back in the 1970’s which the Bletchley and District Gazette published under the headline of DIRTY OLD TOWN – DIRTY NEW CITY. I revisited this in Milton Keynes The City Of Legends but revised the title to MILTON KEYNES THE SCRUFFY CITY.

Who are these fools who drop that which I pick up each day ? Pick up cigarette buts, vape boxes, sweet wrappers, beer bottle and cans with the occasional soft drink can. Balloons of the deflated variety I find each day, NO they are not left over from parties but from illegal drug activity.

What kind of society are we living in ? Who are these idiot fools who would destroy our city ? DESTROY WITHIN OUR CITY ITS FRAGILE ECO SYSTEM AND WILD LIFE ? If my litter picking has saved the life of one ant, one bee, one butterfly that insect is worth more than all the fools who tried to kill them.

What do you think is the greatest by number and by volume item I have litter picked during the Spring Challenge ? You’ll never guess !  Paper handkerchiefs and wipes ! Did we not learn anything within the pandemic about not spreading disease ?

NO Milton Keynes Council is not corporately responsible and most certainly is NOT an April Fool. However, war councillor Adam Rolfe and Milton Keynes South Member of Parliament Iain Stewart I would suggest deserve the title.  Prior to the Spring Litter Pick I contacted them and invited engagement with the terrible situation wrapping itself about our city. THEY BOTH INGNORED MY REPRESENTATION.

April Fool’s Day comes but once a year and there are those who will tell you the jokes end at noon. It seems to me that litter droppers are fools 24/7/365. So may I suggest are politicians who fail to engage with those who alert them to situations.

Yes, the Spring Litter Pick ended last Saturday. I am going to continue ever time DoggieBarnaby and I go out for a walk. If litter buggers operate 24/7/365 than those of us who are not such fools need to pick their crap up. (On the subject of crap I’ll be talking about doggie poo bags within the litter in a later edition of MK Today. Right now I’ve got to log in to Amazon and buy a new litter picking stick, the one I have is worn out !