YES, I drive a Jaguar. It's a big, powerful and very comfortable car. Not new but my pride and joy. I don't expect you to believe me but I do not do bullshit - of all the cars I have owned over the years this is the cheapest vehicle to run. Yeh it costs £70 to fill the tank but I can get way over five hundred miles out of that.
It's a great feeling when some person comes up behind me in a VW Golf or similar piece of rubbish and indicates to overtake me. I tickle the accelerator and roar away from the fool.
Now SOD my car SOD my X Type.......
That is NOT what today's blog is all about.
Life is a Jaguar so do not drive it like a Ford Focus. When an annoying little trouble creeps up behind you push the accelerator and roar away from it.
All of the automatic features in my car are turned ON. If it gets dark the lights can switch themselves on, I don't have to bother. If it rains the wipers move at just the right speed to keep the screen clean. In life do not let the little things demand your attention, obviously do not ignore them but switch to automatic mode and let them take care of themselves.
My car has two CD players, a multi changer in the boot which is controlled from inside the car and a single player on the dashboard. I NEVER take my car on the road without music playing. I could not live my life if it were not filled with music. Never mind the car - FILL YOUR LIVE WITH MUSIC. When my wife reached to the centre console to turn the volume down I simply use the switch on the steering wheel to over ride her. Don't let anyone turn your life's volume down.
When it is cold there is a button I can press which heats up the screen and mirrors to quickly melt the ice. In life when the silly snowflakes come your way press the button and melt them out of existence.
There is one feature in my car I NEVER use. Cruise Control. NEVER cruise through life - it is meant to be driven - it is meant to be lived - it is not meant to be cruised through.
I dread setting the alarm off by accident. The horn blasts and there is a siren that wails over the top of it. It is LOUD. Any car thief would know not to mess with me. Life is the same you know - make sure you have a really powerful alarm and let anyone who would mess with you know about it. I would love to see some bully in life try to mess with me !
I did own a Ford Focus once in my life. It was so expensive to run. Cost twice in fuel what the Jag does. Road tax was higher because its emissions were higher. It was an old plodder to drive and not at all comfortable. I traded it in against the Jag and was pleased to see it go.
YES Life is a Jaguar so live it as one and not as a Ford Focus. Now go out and drive.
DAVID
aka THE GERIATRIC DJ
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