It is now a little over five weeks since my darling daughter
passed away. Those five weeks have been positive and full of love. There
has not been sadness at her passing buy joy as my heart has been filled with so
many memories, happy memories. Now things have started to change. People
will be looking at me and thinking I will be moving on and taking my life into a
new phase. I am not. A person who likes to be positive, I am now feeling
negative.
I am not even sure I should be writing this diary entry.
While I do not intend to abandon this diary project I have considered going back
and removing some entries then editing others. But if I do that it becomes
a work of fiction and not a true account of the events I am living through.
Yesterday I wondered if I was having some form of breakdown.
I slept for most of the day. My stomach tells me I am hungry, I am eating
but at the same time I feel all the time that I want to be sick. I do not
want to see people and talk with them. I actually started to wonder
yesterday what I would need to to in order to become a recluse.
I have said so many times that I love my country but I do not
like what people have done to it. I look around me now and I wonder if I want to
be a part of British society in the twenty-first century. The Corbynite Looney
Left lies its way through the day with more and more fools believing those lies.
Islam every day infiltrates our culture. To be patriotic is not longer a
good thing but seen to be racist. It is racist to fear an islamic take
over of our culture. It is racist to say the potential terrorists on the
security services watch list should be rounded up and held in detention.
It is racist to feel uncomfortable as I walk down the street hearing every
language spoken with English less and less every day. It is racist for a
supermarket to celebrate Saint George's Day but not to fill its shelves with
ramadan promotions. I am not sure I want to be a part of this society.
Perhaps I should become a recluse. Perhaps I should declare
my home a free zone, free of everything within our society I do not like.
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