BOOK 2 - Albert The Snail

 

I write under the pen-name of Max Robinson but in the real world I am David - Dave ashford.

As a teenager I attended Boldmere High School for Boys In the Royal Borough of Sutton Coldfield.. in 1A1 the form tutor was Mr Fairbairn, 2A1 Mr  Rashid, 3A1 Mr Watson, 4G Mr Headley and 5G Mr Wilde.

With one exception, French teachers were always known as "Frog" and French classes were always time to mess about, That exception was Mr Fairbairn. We did not mess about in his classes, there was an entire subtropical area of Asia given over to growing bamboo for his canes !

The few words of French I can speak are those I remember from Mr J F Fairbairn's classes. He invented a character L'Escarot Albert around which he used to tell little tales as part of teahing we kids to learn French.

During 2021 I will have a fun project NHSkisses where my writing is to be used to support our NHS. I am t aking Mr Fairbairn's character Albert to write a series of silly, short stories.

With Brexit Albert leave France to live in England, they eat snails in France don't they ?  Albert lives in a garden with his new friends. There is Boris the squirrel - NUTTER BORIS who thinks he is in charge of the garden but in reality it is the Queen Bee who is head of state.  Three pigeons B, B & C make sure those living in Gardonia are kept up to date with the news but having eyes at the side of their heads they find it hard to see what is right in front of their beaks. As an alternative two Red Kites bring news from the Sky.

Three of the doves who live in Gardonia plan a few days of music which they will stage on a disuesed stock of wood at the bottom of the garden. Those doves are: Jimmy, Hen and Rich.

Next door's cat is a bad person, he is called Mouseytongue but what will happen after the concert ?

Also living ion the garden is a large grey beared thing by the name of Jeremy Crowbin.

Mr Fairbairn, are you still around ?  You have pensioned off your bit  of bambo haven't you. If you tell me the address of your care home I will send you a copy of the book when it is published.

Albert will be the second book in a series of thirty I plan to publish in January, I talked about the first book: IN SEARCH OF THE LEONS yesterday.

Given how much I hated my own time at school some who knew me then will wonder why I became a teacher myself, ending up as a senior member of staff in a large comprehensive school. My Leonites what do you think ?

Charles Dickens wrote a book The Tale Of Two Cities - London & Paris. How about I write a book THE TALE OF TWO SCHOOLS - Boldmere and Leon ?

Actually I think that could be a bit of sarcasm too far ! Perhaps we should ask the guy sitting in the middle of this picture. No that aint Mr Fairbairn ! My hair is longer than his and it ain't spilkey blond. No it aint grey either !

You know I soddin well will write that book: A Tale of Two Schools. WATCH THIS SPACE or in Frog: Surveillez cet endroit ! (Thank you Google Translate !)